Soapbox Time: Amanda Todd and my three cents

I woke up today to a virtual shit-storm that had hid the internet a few hours ago. A teenager by the name of Amanda Todd had committed suicide. Amanda had visited internet chat rooms to meet new people and had flashed her breasts to a flatterer. A year later this person returned with a message on Facebook "If you don't put on a show for me I will send your boobs". She ignored the message. But this guy knew everything about her. The photo was sent to everyone she knew and thus began a life of cyber-bullying, schoolyard bullying, drinking, self harm (cutting) which finally culminated in a suicide.

Here is her story told through note cards by her:

The video brought a tear to my eye. My robot eye. The same eye that couldn't cry at his grandfather's funeral. I have never faced bullying to such a degree. But I wasn't always a gaunt six foot three guy who'll probably join you in making fun of himself and probably outdo you. A few years ago I was a scrawny five footer, easily moved to tears and hypersensitive. In boarding school. Life wasn't always great. I moved schools, gained some confidence, developed a shell and a self deprecating sense of humour. Now only very close friends know me as the clown Pirelli.

This wasn't Amanda's first attempt. She drank bleach the first time which only resulted in a visit to the hospital. Doesn't it sound fun when I say it like that? She failed in her first attempt but got it right in her second try. It sound s like she's an Olympic pole vaulter. And just like an Olympic pole vaulter she had to succeed in her attempts to get some recognition.

An incident like this always creates a lot of attention; the media and the hordes of mindless hash-taggers pounce on it and out come the accusations and the solutions. This particular incident has bred two kinds idiots. The first wants to raise awareness for Amanda and bullying. These jackasses are going to wear pink on Monday. To raise awareness! Like we don't know that bullying goes on. Like nobody f***ing know about it. Sure go ahead and raise awareness about breast cancer, educate people about it, raise money to fight it. Wearing pink for bullying isn't going to do shit. Except assuage your guilt. The people who were truly touched by this aren't going to wear pink. They are going to donate money, volunteer and push for change. You want to do something? Ask for new legislation that prevents this sort of thing.

Then there's the second kid of idiot. These arseholes agree with me about Idiot 1. They're not passive, they are active! They are going to change the world by talking to someone who is different from them, talking to the social outcast, talking to someone abnormal, talking to someone who is different and picked on.

They want to include them. To extend a hand of friendship towards them.

You know what's going to happen?

This human being will see the guilt and the pity in your eyes. And in that moment where you feel you are doing something monumental by putting your hand forward all they are going to see is a fake. A fraud that feels guilty and pity and feels that you need to talk to him to be "normal", to be accepted. This outcast usually feels worse than most people do because he/she is different, but today they'll feel worse than usual.

Thanks for the pity a**hole!

These social outcasts have friends too you know? It takes them longer to find someone like them, but when they do it's fantastic because finally they've found someone who understands them and allows them to be themselves around them.

Tell me, once you've befriended this abnormal awkward freak what then? Are you going to talk to this person regularly? What about the sensitive yet clueless people who'll see your hand of friendship and shake it with pleasure thinking to themselves they've finally found a friend. What happens to them a few weeks later when you've outgrown them or are too busy to talk to them or you find out you have nothing in common with them or you've forgotten all about Amanda Todd? Do you have any idea what it is going to do that person?

Why don't you get shoved into a confined place? Get called nasty names? Get beaten a few times? Then go and talk to them. You can bond over the abuse you've survived.

Don't huff and puff while you see the inaction and the passiveness and then race off to a half-baked half-assed plan to "include" someone different.

Think.

Feel.

Ask for stringent cyber-bullying laws that make sure that this does not happen again.

Come up with some good solutions. Some boundaries. At what point does it change from trolling or harmless fun to cyber bullying?

Should internet chat rooms be blamed? I often go these chat rooms to meet new people and discover new music and films. Blaming internet chat rooms would be like calling Taxi Driver a bad film because of that one loony who tried to assassinate the president to prove his love to Jodie Foster. Wouldn't it make more sense to publish guides to help teens understand the dangers of such chat rooms and the importance of some internet etiquette?

If you are going to talk someone you've ignored talk to someone who you like and connect with but you've been too scared to talk to because you friends make fun of him/her.

On Monday wear black or white to mourn Amanda Todd. Wear pink if you want to but follow it up with some action.

On a personal side note I would like to apologise to anyone who thinks I've bullied them. There were a few times I have taken my frustration out on someone else. I hope you forgive me. Bullying is a vicious cycle. I didn't know that a few years ago.

If you would like to disagree, shout your opinions, tell me to go shove a cactus up my anus or just talk and reminisce over the good old days when we got wedgies please comment below

RIP Amanda Todd. My condolences to the family.